NFL DRAFT 2012

the NFL draft starts in two hours. 

and if you don't know what that is, imagine sorority rush with a few key differences: there are 32 houses, and the totally awesomest girls get into the worst houses. instead of overzealous freshmen in heels for the first time you have the best college football players in the nation, and instead of being drunk together, you have professional football.

there's been talk about who will be the first pick (alpha pledge omg!!!) in the NFL, which is a big deal for no reason. for a long time people said it would be this guy, Andrew Luck:

remember me? i'm absolutely hideous and i go to Stanford

but now the chic thing to do is place your bets on this guy, Robert Griffin III:

i led Baylor from doormat to superstar

here's how it werkz: there are three rounds, but only the first round matters. there are 32 picks, or chances for teams to choose who they want. here's the order of who gets to choose players in what order:

NFL.com

the worst team in the league gets to choose first -- obviously, that's the Colts. my God they suck.
but picks get switched around, too. they're used like currency in the weeks leading up to the draft.
for example, the Rams were supposed to have the second pick because my God they suck also, but they traded their first-round pick to the Redskins in exchange for three other first-round picks and one second-round pick. doesn't sound that smart, but the Redskins obvi have their eye on someone spesh.

it's a fancy affair, with suits and sometimes moms crying and too many commercials. exhibit A:

all of you: call me maybe

T minus one and a half hours now. another post to come.