and the winner is...

the Heisman Trophy is the most prestigious and historic award in college football, given (ideally) to the player who has not only put up the best stats, but shows leadership and determination in his sport.
every year, ESPN broadcasters and writers vote in to come up with a list of finalists.
from the finalists, sports journalists across the nation are chosen to vote for the winner. fans get a say, too, and their majority vote counts as one vote in the Heisman decisions.
the winner and other finalists are celebrated at an annual banquet broadcast on ESPN, which is basically the most worthless two hours of programming until the last five minutes when they announce the winner.

here's the final breakdown of votes:

this year's winner: Robert Griffin III of Baylor, junior quarterback. first player from Baylor to ever receive the Heisman.
incredible player, really. Baylor would not have been as good as they were (read: beating Oklahoma) this season without him. they went 9-3 this season after being the Big 12 doormat forever.

first runner-up: close second was Andrew Luck of Stanford, junior quarterback. was the preseason favorite for the Heisman; he hasn't been as impressive as RG3 this season, though. 

awww it's okay

third place: Trent Richardson of Alabama, junior running back. put up really awesome numbers this season.

fourth place: Montee Ball, Wisconsin junior running back. responsible for a lot of the Badgers' touchdowns this season.

fifth place: Tyrann Mathieu, sophomore cornerback for LSU. nicknamed "Honey Badger" because he don't give a shit. also possibly the cutest boy i have ever seen in my life. OH MY GOD HE'S YOUNGER THAN ME WHAT IS THIS FEELING

can i have yo numba? can i have it...?

sixth place: Matt Barkley, junior quarterback for USC, looks like he could model for Abercrombie & Fitch. not a great season for the Trojans though.

seventh place: Case Keenum (who?), SIXTH YEAR SENIOR LOL quarterback at Houston. they had a good season, but srsly, easy schedule.

eighth place: Kellen Moore, senior quarterback for Boise State, possibly my least favorite team in the NCAA.

also the King of the Overbite.

lol ew

and now for some photos of random douchebags doing the Heisman pose:

what is going on in this? you're in a lab coat, there is a lawn mower behind you...

first of all, quite possibly the ugliest child i have ever seen. secondly, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO YOUR BABY

yeah no, i don't even know

cool pants, brew. also your baby is not a toy

why is this a trend and TIM TEBOW I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH YOU WOULD BE WEARING CROCS YOU IDIOT

and finally, some inspiration for me to work out this break:

dumb bitch. go die.