#12 south carolina gamecocks

do we even really need to talk about this? i don't even need to make the obligatory joke about gamecocks, do i?

colors: garnet and black - as you've noticed by now, and as my beautiful friend Kaitlin pointed out, there are a million fucking different names for dark red. garnet is one of them.

conference: SEC - eastern

mascot: Cocky... this is just too much.

shown here in a fashionable hoop skirt

coach: Steve Spurrier, seventh year. former Heisman winner (1966) and former head coach for the Florida Gators. could be fairly called a college football coaching legend.

quarterback: #5 senior Stephen Garcia. HAS BEEN SUSPENDED FIVE TIMES for reasons relating to the fact that is a belligerent alcoholic and once he keyed a professor's car. WHY IS HE STILL PLAYING. he was just reinstated after an "indefinite suspension" in August, and everyone's excited. can you say INTERVENTION.

hottie index: 2/10 with his hair long. look at this. he's a caveman.

ewwww

but with his hair cut? he's upgraded to a full 6/10.

is this the same dude? wow, i might actually consider making eye contact with him in public.

and just for fun, here's a bangin' mug shot:

if Jesus' younger brother were an alcoholic...

the low-down: last season was a great one, and the Gamecocks won the division championship for the first time. this season looks promising, since their two best offensive players Marcus Lattimore and Alshon Jeffery are returning, but they're losing almost EVERYONE from their defense save for Devin Taylor, who's awesome. i just hope Garcia can stay sober for the 3 hours his team needs him, and maybe he won't throw so many interceptions during important plays. ugh i still can't get over this - i know for a fact that if the Sooners had a guy who had a drinking problem, Bob Stoops would just ship his ass to rehab, NOT KEEP PLAYING HIM. anyways. they've got a few games to worry about this season: Georgia, maybe/probably not Navy, Auburn, Arkansas, Florida. hopefully Garcia will decide he'd like to stop being a raging alcoholic and the Gamecocks will do well this season.

first game: East Carolina in Charlotte, North Carolina. ummmm, East Carolina is not a state.