#17 michigan state spartans

THIS... IS... SPARTAAAAAAAAA

HAHAHAHA OMG AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS MY OWN JOKE IS FUNNY

colors: green and white

conference: Big Ten - Legends. *rolls eyes.*

mascot: Sparty, who looks like he would be very rough.

WHAT IS THIS THING AND WILL HE OR WILL HE NOT SEXUALLY ASSAULT ME

coach: Mark Dantonio, fifth season. brought Michigan State up to LEVEL last year after a few mediocre seasons; he's 33-19 at Michigan State overall. former coach for Cincinatti, where he went 18-17, ew. known to be a defense-minded coach. suffered a heart attack last year, then came back to finish coaching the season. fucking boss.

FUCK YOU, HEART ATTACK!!!!!

quarterback: #8 senior Kirk Cousins. is apparently a great public speaker (this guy jizzes about it, and he's not the only one) and not a bad quarterback either - first quarterback to beat biggest rival Michigan twice in his career. made 19 touchdowns in 2009, 20 touchdowns in 2010. 

hottie index: 6/10, has a weirdish smile. look.

not smiling

why is your mouth in this shape

the low-down: went an impressive 11-2 last season, but they aren't as AWESOME as they sound. last season they lost HUGE to Iowa (37-6, embarrassing) and Alabama in the Citrus Bowl (49-7, slightly more understandable but still embarrassing). they beat rivals Notre Dame and Michigan, and went on to win the Big Ten Championship for the first time in 20 YEARS. they'll do well this season - even though they're losing leading tackler Greg Jones and defense will suffer for it. hopefully Coach Dantonio will know how to fix the defense, which will be key. offense won't be just fine, it'll be great - running back Edwin Baker and Kirk Cousins are an offensive dream-team. they'll do maybe not as well as they did last season, but not too far from it. 

first game: Youngstown State, which i googled for all of our sakes, playing at home. their mascot is the penguin. i'm pretty sure penguins are not native to Youngstown, Ohio. they gon lose anyways.